Some Milkman's Humour.


Jacob Reynolds, of Heath Farm, Bernards Heath, St Albans, kept a scrap book of old newspaper cuttings, most of which refer to events effecting family and friends. The book contains little about his work as a major farmer and dairyman, but one page contains the following jokes about milkmen. The cartoon about the recruiting sergeant, signed Geo S Dixon (b. 1890), is dated 1915 clearly related to the First World War. The others relate, directly or indirectly to watering down the milk to make it go further - with the modern Aesop's fable suggesting that the average London milkman did not even know what a cow looked like. (Jacob not only supplied many in St Albans with milk but also sent more by train to London.)


This originally had a flap that hid the contents!


The north wind doth blow,

And we shall have snow,

And what will the milkman do then, poor thing?

When water pipes freeze

A spade he will seize,

And fill up his cans with the snow, poor thing.


What Pure Milk Costs

City Lady: "Mr Hayseed, I shall send my nurse-girl to you for milk every morning. How much do you charge a quart?"

Farmer: "Five cents."

City Lady: "You must give her good pure milk."

Farmer: "That'll be  - eight cents a quart."

City Lady: "And I should like my girl to be present at the milking."

Farmer: "Lemme see - I'll hev to charge twenty-five cents a quart for that."


That Accounts for It.

At St. Pancras a man told the chairman his weekly wages were 35s, and he gave his wife 2.

The Mayor: How do you manage that?

Appellant: I am a milkman, sir.


A Shameful Waste

"Most every one who goes to Niagra Falls," remarked a prominent New York clubman, "hears some absurd, ridiculous and inept remark there. You stand and gaze at the falls, profoundly moved, unspeakably impressed, and then, all of a sudden, something fatuous is said, and the effect of all that grandeur is dissipated.

"The day I first saw Niagra, a man touched my arm as I looked up at those white waters. I turned to the man. He had the silly and the vacuous smile of the confirmed joker.

"'It seems a shame,' he said, 'to see all this go to waste.'

"'What are you?' I asked - 'an electrical engineer?'

"'No.' he answered, 'a milkman.'""



When the County Council Cows On the Council meadows browse when the Council dairymaid, puritanically staid leasurelyis seen to pass o'er the hygenic grass ratepayer for you and me how delightful that will be

Obviously this related to some action by the London County Council which affected the distribution and sale of milk in London. The position on the pages suggests it was pasted in before the 1915 Recruiting Sergeant cartoon.

While the above cuttings clearly came from newspapers, none are identified.

See Heath Farm Dairy

See also Xmas Cards and the St Albans Military Tribunal, 1916


While this 1909 post card, by the St Albans artist "Karaktus" is not in Jacob's scrap book I am sure he would have put it in if he had seen it.

September 2014   Page Created